Original Bad Boy on the case, cover your face

Came in the place blowed, and sprayed Puffy with Mase

I laced the weed with insect repellant, better check the smelly

Eminem starts with E, better check the spelling

with a capital, somebody grab me a Snapple

I got an aspirin capsule trapped in my adam's apple

Somebody dropped me on my head, and I was sure

that my mother did it, but the bitch won't admit it was her

I slit her stomach open with a scalpel when she was six months

The world ain't ready for me yet, I can tell

I'll probably have a cell next to the furnace in hell

I'm sick of these sperm cells with syphillis germs

and I'm hotter than my dick is, when I piss and it burns

I kick you in the tummy until you sick to your stomach

and vomit so much blood that your clothes stick to you from it

Hit you in the head with a brick til you plummet

If y'all don't like me, you can suck my dick til you numb it

And all that gibberish you was spittin, you need to kill it

Cause your style is like dyin in my sleep, I don't feel it

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Is fuckin crazy

I'm ice grillin you, starin you down with a gremlin grin

I'm Eminem, you're a fag in a women's gym

I'm Slim, the Shady is really a fake alias

to save me with in case I get chased by space aliens

A brainiac, with a cranium packed, full of more uranium

than a maniac Saudi Arabian

A highly combustible head, spazmatic

strapped to a Kraftmatic adjustable bed

Laid up in the hospital in critical condition

I flatlined; jumped up and ran from the mortician

High speed, IV full of thai weed

Lookin Chinese, with my knees stuck together like siamese

twins, joined at the groin like lesbians

Uhh, pins and needles, hypodermic needles and pins

on if I keep on killin my girlfriends

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Is fuckin crazy

Last night I O.D.'d on rush, mushrooms and dust

and got rushed to the hospital to get my system flushed

I'm an alcoholic and that's all I can say

I call in to work, cause all I do is frolic and play

I swallow grenades, and take about a bottle a day

of Tylenol 3, and talk about how violent I'll be

Give me eleven Excederin my head'll spin

Medicine'll get me revvin like a 747 jet engine

Scratched my balls til I shredded skin

"Doctor, check this rash, look how red it's been"

"It's probably AIDS!" Forget it then

I strike a still pose and hit you with some ill flows

that don't even make sense, like dykes usin dildos

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Is fuckin crazy you hear me?

Cause any man who would jump in front of a minivan

for twenty grand and a bottle of pain pills and a minithin

Is fuckin crazy